PROOF OF GOD?

A LITTLE BACKSTORY:

THE FOLLOWING BLOG WAS MY FINAL-FINAL POSTING IN A FORUM ON THE WEBSITE WHYWONTGODHEALAMPUTEES.COM - THEY REFUSED TO POST IT.

AFTER ATTEMPTING TO DISCUSS THE IDEA OF GOD W/ A BUNCH OF ATHEIST WHO REQUIRE THEIR OWN SPECIAL KIND OF PROOF OF GOD BEFORE THEY ARE EVEN WILLING TO DISCUSS THE POSSIBILITY OF GOD - I DECIDED THAT THE KIND OF PROOF THEY NEEDED TO BE CONVINCED COULDN'T EVER BE PROVIDED - AT LEAST NOT BY ME.  I STILL TRIED B/C I KNEW THAT THE DISCUSSION OF THE SUBJECT WOULD ONLY HELP CONVINCE ME OF WHAT I REALLY BELIEVE.

AFTER A COUPLE OF EARLY POSTINGS - MY POSTS WERE FLAGGED AS BEING PREACHY B/C I COULDN'T PROVIDE PROOF FOR WHAT I WAS SAYING - AT LEAST NOT PROOF THAT ANYONE ON THE WEBSITE WOULD ACCEPT.  MY POSTINGS THEN NEEDED TO BE APPROVED BY THE MODERATORS OF THE WEBSITE & SINCE I FLAT OUT REFUSED TO BE MODERATED IN ANY WAY, SHAPE OR FORM THIS CREATED A RIFF BETWEEN ME & SOME OF THE MODERATORS.

I ALWAYS TEND TO SAY WHAT I THINK & I SAY IT IN THE MANNER I CHOOSE.  MY THOUGHTS, WORDS & ACTIONS ARE ALWAYS IN LINE.  I ALWAYS TRY TO USE HUMOR - THE ONLY THING I TAKE SERIOUSLY IS THAT I DON'T TAKE ANYTHING SERIOUSLY.  I'M HUMBLE WHEN I THINK I NEED TO BE HUMBLE & I'M BOLD WHEN I THINK I NEED TO BE BOLD.  I NEVER USED HARSH LANGUAGE TOWARDS THE OTHER PEOPLE ON THE FORUM - BUT TO THE MODERATORS I MOST CERTAINLY DID.  THEY DIDN'T LIKE MY TONE - SO I DECIDED TO TRY A DIFFERENT APPROACH.

I STARTED RESPONDING TO POST W/ PERSONAL MESSAGES THAT DIDN'T NEED TO BE APPROVED.  THEY DIDN'T LIKE THAT EITHER.  I WENT BACK TO POSTING & EVENTUALLY THEY DID POST MOST OF WHAT I SUBMITTED & I DID MANAGE TO HAVE SOME INTERESTING DISCUSSIONS ABOUT PROOF OF DESIGN IN THE UNIVERSE OR LACK THERE OF W/ THE OTHER MEMBERS.  I LEARNED A LOT ABOUT HOW THEY THINK - WHICH WAS A GOOD LEARNING EXPERIENCE FOR ME.

NONE OF MY SUGGESTIONS FOR PROOF WERE EVER GIVEN THE SLIGHTEST CREDENCE.  THEY ALWAYS FOUND A WAY TO POINT OUT WHAT WAS WRONG W/ WHAT I WAS SAYING W/O EVER ADMITTING ANYTHING I WAS SAYING WAS EVER RIGHT.  THEY STILL WANTED CONCRETE / PHYSICAL PROOF BEFORE THEY WOULD GIVE AN INCH ABOUT ANYTHING.

I SUGGESTED THAT MATH IS PROOF OF DESIGN.  THEY SAID MAN DESIGNED MATH - I SAID MAN DISCOVERED MATH HE DIDN'T DESIGN IT - MAN DIDN'T DECIDE THAT IT WORKS THE WAY IT DOES - IT JUST DOES.  THEY SAID MATH IS JUST A TOOL - IT'S NOT THAT SPECIAL.  THEY ALL SEEM TO KNOW A LOT ABOUT MATH - I HATE MATH - I DON'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT MATH - SO I TRIED ANOTHER WAY.

I SUGGESTED THAT OUR SOLAR SYSTEM WORKS LIKE A CLOCK – THAT IT WAS WORKING LIKE A CLOCK LONG BEFORE ANY HUMAN EVER CAME UP W/ THE IDEA FOR A CLOCK.  LIKE ANY GOOD ATHEIST THEY WOULDN'T EVEN BUDGE ON THIS - THEY SAID THE SOLAR SYSTEM IS IN NO WAY LIKE A CLOCK.  I SAID IT'S NOT EXACTLY LIKE A CLOCK - BUT IT'S STILL LIKE A CLOCK - IF OUR WAY OF KEEPING TIME IS SO GREAT WHY DO WE ADJUST OUR CLOCKS TO THE UNIVERSE?  THEIR RESPONSES TO THIS WERE THAT A CLOCK KEEPS PERFECT TIME & THE SOLAR SYSTEM IS FAR FROM PERFECT IN HOW IT KEEPS TIME WHICH IS WHY WE ADJUST OUR CLOCKS TO IT.  I SAID THE UNIVERSE DOESN'T CARE WHAT TIME IT IS - WE DO.  IT’S REALLY ALWAYS NOW.

IT SEEMS FOR THEM ANY ANSWER IS ALWAYS BETTER THAN EVER ADMITTING IN ANY WAY, SHAPE OR FORM THAT THE UNIVERSE COULD BE DESIGNED TO BE THE WAY IT IS.  THEY WON’T EVEN ADMIT IT’S POSSIBLE.  AFTER SEVERAL DAYS OF THIS I WAS MENTALLY EXHAUSTED.  I COULDN'T CONVINCE THEM - THEY COULDN'T CONVINCE ME.  I FELT THAT THE WHOLE EXERCISE - WHILE ENTERTAINING - WAS BECOMING POINTLESS.

AFTER MANY, MANY POST THEY STILL WOULDN'T TAKE ME OFF BEING MODERATED - SO I CALLED BULLSHIT & MADE ONE MORE POST SAYING GOODBYE TO THEM ALL.  

I JUST DIDN'T WANT TO DO IT ANYMORE.  I HAD MY FUN – BUT IT WAS NO LONGER FUN.  I KNOW I CAN BELIEVE WHATEVER THE FUCK I WANT TO BELIEVE & I TOLD THEM OVER & OVER AGAIN THAT THEY CAN DO THE SAME.  THOUGH I STILL HAVE SOME DOUBTS OF MY OWN ABOUT WHAT I BELIEVE IS TRUE - I KNOW I CERTAINLY DON'T NEED TO PROVE IT TO ANYONE ELSE BUT MYSELF.  THE ONLY POINT OF DISCUSSING THE SUBJECT AT ALL IS TO BETTER UNDERSTAND WHAT I BELIEVE.  I DECIDED IT WAS BETTER FOR MY PEACE OF MIND IF I JUST STOPPED - SO I DID.

THE REST OF THIS BLOG IS WHAT HAPPENED THAT VERY SAME NIGHT & THE FOLLOWING IS WHAT THEY REFUSED TO POST.

Proof of God?

This answer came to me last night while I was sleeping - it came as a thought - an idea - an inspiration.  A dream in the middle of the night.  I wasn't really expecting it to come - but before I went to bed I prayed to God & what God told me in the manner in which I just described may or may not be useful to you & it may or may not be proof to you.

Before I went to bed I wrote some stuff down to tell you all why you're full of shit & nothing but a bunch of hypocrites - no different than the other side you're always fighting against - even though you have opposite viewpoints about what's true & what isn't - you are the same.

I liked what I wrote - I thought what I wrote down was true - but like what you've all been pushing me to do - I had to ask myself - Could I prove that it was true?  

I was certain you wouldn't think it was true w/o proof, but for the life of me I couldn't think of how to prove it to you.  I knew w/o being able to prove it there wouldn't be any point in sending it to you.

I kept trying to think of a way to prove it so it could be understood.  So it would make sense to anyone who reads it.  So there was no way of denying it.  What will convince everybody beyond a shadow of doubt?

I couldn't figure it out - so I just decided to go to bed even though I really wasn't tired.

I went to bed listening to my iPod w/ headphones on which I have been doing more often lately - still thinking about it all & I decided to pray in my own way.  I didn't have to get down on my knees.  I didn't have to put my hands together though I was reading over what I wrote on my iphone so they were kind of together - but I didn't think of that while I was lying there.  My iphone is loaded only w/ music I love to listen to - there isn't one thing on there that I don't love.  I haven't added anything new to it in a year.  I have plenty of favorites - but I still love them all.

This was my prayer to God as best as I can remember:

You suck.  I'm sick of fucking doing what I keep thinking you're asking me to do.  I been doing it for long enough now & I don't want to do any of it any more.  Fuck you.  I want some fucking definite answers - something that nobody can possible deny w/o proving themselves foolish.  No more bullshit.

Nobody fucking down here wants to believe what you fucking really are.  It's impossible for me to convince anybody what I think I know w/o some fucking proof - no matter what or how I seem to try to do it - nothing seems to work & it's really starting to piss me off.

Either fucking tell me what I'm supposed to do now or go fuck yourself b/c I fucking quit.

If you're really fucking there & not just a figment of my fucking imagination you know how fucking good I am at quitting shit I don't want to do & if after all this fucking time you aren't willing to give me a fucking answer that will fucking work now instead of later - then fuck off & leave me the fuck alone.  Amen.

I didn't really think or say Amen.  I'm just saying that to point out the end of the prayer.  I really just decided to go to sleep.

That was essential my prayer.  I was pissed but nobody would have been able to tell - I was just thinking it while I was listening to my music.  It was more like Steve Martin trying to get a fucking car in Planes, Trains & Automobiles than a Psalm - but as you already know I don't give a shit.

This was God's answer to my prayer later that night after I fell asleep - you tell me if I just made it up b/c I can't really tell anymore - but I know what I believe.

God is made of Love & Peace & Joy.

God isn't made of any "thing" & that's why God doesn't give a shit about bodies.  Matter is really an illusion even though it seems very real.  God created the illusion to be able to share existence w/ something other than God.  To be able to do that God had to create something new which God considers to be His Son.

God only has one Son & all of us are it - equally.  As long as this is being denied here on Earth we will never know it even though God is reflected in every one of us & every thing.

We can only ever be of one spirit & one mind - we can never be of one body - but together they all 3 make up the Holy Trinity.

We can only accept or deny that this is true.  The truth of it hasn't changed since the beginning of time & it never will until the end of time.

In truth there is no beginning or end to existence - only time - but time is part of the illusion b/c it really is always now.  It's never not now.

Life is eternal.  Death is part of the illusion.  

We can take as long as we need to accept what's true - but we can never change it.  The truth will never be forced on us.  To accept what's true we only must be willing to deny what isn't.

HERE IS THE PROOF THAT WHAT GOD IS MADE OF IS TRUE:

Love is better than Hate.

Peace is better than War.

Joy is better than Sorrow.

In this world of illusion we all live in we judge everything by comparison.  

God makes no judgments b/c God knows what's true so there is no need for comparison.

We also know what's true - but we don't want to accept that it can be so simple & easy.

The problem w/ claiming God is imaginary or that God is something that God isn't is that it isn't true.

Imagination is used by everyone who exists.

Scientist throughout history have used their imagination to accomplish amazing things. They have used it to inspire themselves & others to attempt doing things that even they themselves didn't think were possible.  They had an idea or a vision or a dream that told them it was possible & they believed it - even though they didn't know if it was true.  Even though they didn't have proof.

Even when nobody else believed in what they were trying to do or even thought it could be done - they still carried on - no matter how they were ridiculed & no matter by who - even their peers.

They were inspired by their thoughts & their imaginations or whatever else it might take for them to accomplish what they wanted to accomplish.  They refused to be stopped from trying by anyone.

Some of the greatest discoveries in the history of the world were the result of their determination to succeed where others had failed.  They were given everything they needed to succeed but they were the ones who had to decide to carry on against all odds - no matter what the cost - by any means necessary.

All of the things that exist now wouldn't even be if all those who came before us didn't have something to inspire them.  If they had listened to what other people were telling them could or couldn't be done or why they were crazy or delusional for even trying - none of it would have happened the way it did.  But it did happen - b/c of them & b/c of their desire & despite everything else.

Saying God is imaginary or saying God is something God is not when the truth is known & when God is the one who provided the possibility for all of us to experience what life & existence truly means... well, that's disrespectful.

God doesn't judge us or condemn us for doing it b/c God knows what's true.

God doesn't forgive b/c there is no need for God to do that.  God knows the truth.

When we finally realize what is true we must be able to forgive ourselves for forgetting that we already knew.  

How do you tell somebody what they already know w/o making them feel stupid?  You let them discover it for themselves.

The way the world is now is the result of denying what is & always will be true - nothing more & nothing less.

God gave man Dominion over the Earth & himself.  

Love is only love when it's unconditional.  You can only pretend it's something else.  Love is the cause of our existence - peace & joy are the effect.  

  

When this is denied something that isn't true is perceived in its place.  Everyone must decide for themselves what they want to be true & we decide w/ every thought.  We never stop deciding & what we perceive is the result of our decisions.

Calling people who believe something you don't delusional or crazy or evil is hypocritical when you know many of the most brilliant scientists who have ever lived have been thought to be just that by both their peers & everyone else who didn't believe what they believed was possible.  The other side does the same thing w/ prophets.  The result is always bloodshed.

The Fear of God is what needs to be denied & dispelled as imaginary - not the idea of God's existence.  

The Love of God is all that's real b/c that is all that's given.

That's what will end religion & war & everything else about this world that isn't true.  When the truth is accepted by enough people it'll be like a wave of thought covering the entire Earth.

Who told you you were naked is the Last Judgment.  That is the Alpha & Omega.  It's not really a question if you already know the answer.

It's time to wake the dead.  The dead are the ones who think they are naked.

You tell me how any of this isn't true if you can - I already know you can deny it.

All I want is for everybody everywhere to be happy b/c I'm tired of not being happy.  

That's my desire.  That's my dream.  Is that an illusion?

peace

FINAL JUDGMENT

I AM '

ALL I WANT IS TO BE FREE

IF I DONt NEED WHAT I WANT

HOW MUCH LESS DO I NEED WHAT I DONt WANT

THE PAST DOESNt MATTER

THE FUTURE NEVER HAPPENS

ITs ALWAYS NOW

AT ANY GIVEN MOMENT I KNOW WHAT I LIKE

& WHAT I DONt LIKE

THATs ALL I NEED TO KNOW

I DONt HAVE TO THINK ABOUT WHAT I DONt LIKE

& WHAT I LIKE TAKES CARE OF ITSELF

THERE IS NO CHOICE

THERE IS ONLY THE ILLUSION OF CHOICE

THERE IS NO DECISION TO BE MADE

IT HAS ALREADY BEEN DECIDED

I KNOW

I AM '

WHAT i KNOW

As far as I'm concerned I don't need to do anything.

There's no longer any choice - there's only a decision to be made.

I always make decisions now - the past & future do not exist.

I always know what I like & what I don't like - there's never any doubt.

If I don't need what I want how much less do I need what I don't want.

My body is just a vessel for my will - my body is nothing by itself.

My emotions tell me what I believe is true - my emotions are irrelevant to what is really true 

– I just learned them over time.

My mind is naturally abstract & my spirit is unconditionally free – just not while I think I’m here.

My mind already knows what is true.

My will is, always has been & always will be free to decide what it wants to believe.

Truth is always true - it has no choice.

My will is one - I only have the illusion of choice while I believe I’m here.  Where else could I be?

Do What Thou Wilt.

Love Is The Law - Love Under Will.

There are love and love - there is the dove & there is the serpent.

Choose Ye Well!

Be Bold As Love.

See Da Light

The key to Enlightenment is simply that you pretend to be until you remember that you already are.

Don't go around telling people you are Enlightened - play the part. It's method acting.  You're Daniel Day Lewis - you're Russell Crowe - you're fucking Bobby D. You want to win an Oscar for your performance but you will gain much more than that for your effort.  You're Jesus Christ Superstar - you are the Saviour of your Self b/c you are already saved.

Never come out of character - not under any circumstance - no matter what happens - then forgive yourself when you do.  Want nothing & ask for nothing at any time - then forgive yourself when you do.

Accept whatever is offered to you w/ thanx & appreciation & keep your eye on the prize.  Forgive yourself when you don’t.

The fastest & easiest way to accomplish this is to give the world one purpose & one purpose only.  This purpose never changes regardless of the situation. It is universally applied to every thought that enters your awareness & everything you experience.

The only purpose the world truly serves is forgiveness - it has no other purpose that is not madness.  Do not try to look for meaning in the madness or you will be lost & confused.  You cannot serve two masters & have peace of mind.

Reality must be true to have meaning & what is true must always be true & never false.  There is no compromise between what is true & what isn't - none can ever be made.  There cannot be more than one reality - there is no debate on the subject.  Truth needs no defense & neither does reality.  Reality & truth are one - they can only be recognized & accepted as one by your mind.

Your understanding is not necessary for truth to be itself.  Your awareness of truth is completely up to you to decide when you want it.  You decide w/ every thought. 

Truth will not force itself on you beyond your own will.  Your will is the only power you possess & it is not of you - it was given to you.  

Thy will be done.  Ask & you shall you receive.  Truth is never hidden.  You will receive what you ask for b/c you already have it.  If you think it’s a thing you don’t know what it is you’re asking for.

With forgiveness as its only purpose the world is given a goal everybody can reach with equal ease b/c forgiveness is only of the Self.  The only way you can forgive yourself & know that you actually have been forgiven is by forgiving everybody else of everything you think they've done - but did not really do.  You must first give forgiveness to receive it.  This is the only way you can be certain forgiveness is also yours - otherwise you won’t believe it. 

If you can give it then you’re telling yourself that you must already have it – how else could you give it.  You can’t give something you don’t have.  You keep what you give.  This does not need to be done in words - only in thoughts.  Correction must be at the source & your thoughts are the source of everything you say & do.

Giving & receiving are the same - they happen at the same time.

You will know you are forgiven by the very fact that you can give forgiveness to others - which means you must have received it for yourself already.  You cannot give what you do not have so by being able to give it you know for certain you already have it.  

The only question is whether or not you can accept this is true.  It can't be any simpler even though it may seem impossible for you to do sometimes.  Appearances do not make reality.  You can & you will - you only get to decide when.  Forgiveness is for all.

Realize that you are not really in a body - you only think you are.  The you who is really you is merely using the body to help you remember the truth.  Part of your mind wants to be a body which is why you don't believe the truth is really true - so you made up one you like better.  You did not do this alone.  You were taught that you are a body from the time that you were born.  You celebrate it & everything you do is for its benefit & protection.  You have accepted something that can never be true as true b/c you want it to be true & everything you experience proves it to you simply b/c that is what your will demands.  That is its power.

You perceive what you want to perceive.

You think your life is your body's life - yet how do you describe who you are?   What do you really love about yourself & others?

Death is an illusion - it has no meaning that you don't give it. 

You have always existed & you always will exist as you b/c that's who you were created to be - you cannot not be you - even though you are free to try to be something else.  You did not create yourself & yet here you are.   You cannot fail at being yourself.

Why are you here?

Forgiveness corrects any error w/o the need for punishment. Punishment is not correction.  Error must be corrected at its source to have effects you can actually experience.  Punishment is attack that seems justified.  All anger is nothing more than an attempt to make someone feel guilty – even if that someone is you.  Only those who think themselves guilty attack & this is why the only purpose the world serves is forgiveness.  

Forgive everyone to forgive yourself.  Show no one that they can harm you.

You decide whether Christ is crucified or resurrected w/ every thought.  Your judgment of them is only of your Self.  The Son of God is guiltless b/c that's how Christ was created to be - innocent. 

Is not every baby born – born innocent?

You are the Son of God - you are Christ - no more than me & not any less either.  We are all equal whether you believe this is true or not - no one can be left outside the circle alone & no one enters it alone.  You walk hand in hand w/ your brother even when you think you are alone.  2 by 2 we enter the ark & any 2 will do.

Be unaffected by everything that happens & everything you witness - forgive yourself when you aren't.  Accept everything & condemn nothing - forgive yourself when you can't.  Always respond w/ kindness whether you think it's deserved or not - forgive yourself when you don't.  Never argue a point & forgive yourself when you forget.  You only forget to remember better.  To remember means you must already know.

You are always right for yourself & you are never right for somebody else unless they agree.  Judge not.  Do not hold the past against anyone.  Let no one think they can harm you in any way - no matter what they say or do.  You are a rock - a happy rock at peace w/ yourself & the world - no matter how fucked up it may seem to be - you are safe.  There is nothing to fear – not even fear itself b/c fear is an illusion.

Always remember to forgive yourself - for now you know how to tell if you really have.  If you’re not sure - then you haven’t.

How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop?

The Truth About Assurance

From time to time meaningless thoughts form in my mind - I know only loving thoughts are true & I'm aware that I can believe the opposite if I so choose - I trust my spirit to decide what I should say & do based on love being unconditionally free - I make no judgments on anyone – not even me - Any thoughts of past or future events only give themselves away - I treat each moment as a new day - a new experience not in solitude w/ no memory from the past allowed to intrude - The future is unknown to me for I am always now - I know what I truly want every moment & that’s is only how - I'm certain nothing real can disturb my peace of mind - There is no reason for fear & no reason do I hold dear - I'm assured of all this by knowing who & what I am & what I need to do - There isn't any doubt of this in my mind for it is true all the time - to give is to receive so I accept the truth gratefully w/ no reason left to lie - no reason left to die – no reason left to cry - I’m of one spirit & one mind - my body has no choice but to comply - to join the cause of both my spirit & my mind. 

Catch 22

What is Catch 22?  Catch 22 is a circular line of reasoning used by the powers that be to make it impossible for an individual to be able to exercise their own free will.  Catch 22 is used against anybody who attempts to get out of the control system being imposed on a group by those who have the power to enforce it. It’s a way of making sure all the sheep stay w/ the herd.

In Joseph Heller’s novel Catch 22, Capt. Yossarian is a bombadier during WWII who doesn’t want to fly anymore missions.  Yossarian goes to the camp doctor asking to be grounded saying he’s unfit to fly b/c he’s crazy.  The doctor explains the Army’s Catch 22 policy to him.  Anybody that's crazy is not supposed to fly - but since Yossarian is asking to be grounded he must not really be crazy.  According to the policy of Catch 22 the doctor can’t ground him b/c he’d actually be crazy if he wanted to fly & since he doesn’t want to fly he must not be crazy - so Yossarian has to keep flying.  Yossarian points out that Orr, a pilot who always crashes, is crazy & asks why the doctor still lets him fly.  The doctor admits Orr is crazy & says all Orr has to do is ask him to be grounded – but then the doctor can’t ground him b/c of Catch 22.

That’s some catch that Catch 22.  It’s the best there is.

Why does it seem to be so much easier to do something to make myself unhappy rather than to make myself happy?  I've tried doing nothing but I don't think that really makes me happy.  Maybe it does & I just don't realize what being happy is.  Do I know what being happy really is?  Have I ever really been happy?

I think I’ve been happy at various points in my life but they never seem to last very long.

Why is money the one thing I think makes all the difference between being happy or not being happy?

I’ve had money & I’ve not had money & I know having money makes me happier.  I’ve said this many times & I don't have any doubt in my mind about it.  Give anybody a thousand dollars for no reason & you'll see somebody get happy fast.  

Take away a thousand dollars for no reason & you'll see just the opposite.  As long as being happy really means what I think it means that's the way I see it - I don't think it's inconceivable.

For me, what I have to do to get the money makes all the difference.  I want to get the money doing something I enjoy doing - I’d prefer it just be given to me or won - just like most everyone would.  If I truly always have everything I need & I don’t have any money, I shouldn’t need to do anything for money b/c I must not need it.  

Why does it seem that I do?  Why doesn't there seem to be any way around it that will allow me to just be happy w/o money?

Everybody always wants the truth, yet nobody really knows what the whole truth is.  In order to know the truth as it applies to the world you’d have to know everything there is to know & how it affects everybody & everything right now this very instant & every instant before & after.  Now that is inconceivable.

The truth can't be different for everybody & be true - can it?  I know I’ve asked that before - so I must not be convinced yet.  You’ve think I would by now – but I’m not.  I’ve decided that the only way the truth can be different for everybody & still be true is if everybody is always right for themselves.  That still doesn’t mean they’ll like what happens to them – but at least that way nobody has to ever worry about being wrong about anything they decide to say or do.  I know everybody won’t like that answer – but so what?

I know I can believe something is true that isn't & everybody else can do the same.  So that must be true – but how does that really help me?  According to the way most people in the world think - if what two people believe to be true is completely different - both can't be right - but both can be wrong.  Since nobody knows the whole truth – the whole truth can’t be known – but what is true about the world can be known.  What is true must be true for everybody all the time.  That’s the only criteria that is full proof.  So the only way truth can be different for everybody is if everybody is right for themselves alone.  That way nobody is ever wrong – no matter what.  Who’s willing to accept that besides me?

There’s no other way to ever know what’s really true & what’s bullshit.  That actually does away w/ bullshit b/c then there’s never any reason to argue about anything w/ anybody.  I'm always right for myself & I'm never wrong for myself - no matter what you think about it.  You’re always right for yourself & never right for me unless I agree w/ you & vice versa.  What’s wrong w/ that?

Everything anybody else knows somebody else made up. Did somebody else tell me this or did I just make it up?  I'm not even sure.  I think I just made it up & now I’m telling you. 

Did I hear it somewhere else or read it somewhere?  I don’t think I did.  Is it the result of all I’ve heard or read since I’ve been here?  Maybe.  I think I like the idea of it.  How will knowing that change my life?  How will it change my perception?  Can I actually live w/ that as the basis of my thought system?  I have to decide on some thought system in order to live here even if I’m not aware of the thought system I have decided on.  Whether I’m aware of it or not I’m using a thought system right now – I learned it & I teach it – regardless from whomever I learned it – even myself.  I’d rather be aware of it than not – regardless of the fact that I can never wrong for myself.  I prefer that my thought system not contradict itself.  

The truth seems to change constantly in my mind from the past to now & into the future, which can only mean, what I think is true isn’t really true except for right now.  I just make up what's true like everything else.  Truth doesn't really mean anything we don't want it to mean for ourselves.  By choosing for ourselves we’re automatically choosing for everybody else.  We all want what we believe to be true – that’s why we believe it.  Why would I believe something is true that I don’t want to be true?  We want what we believe to be true to be true for everybody b/c it helps convince us that it’s really true for us.  We all want to be right.

What if I don’t have to worry anymore about whether or not what I believe is true is true for anybody other than myself?  What changes in my mind as a result of not having to worry about being right or wrong?  That doesn’t mean I still won’t be judged by others.  That’s a given - people always judge.  Is it possible for me to stop?  Not as long as I’m worried.

If nothing can really be true, how can truth matter?  It really is just a word somebody made up & other people agreed upon.  The word itself doesn’t really matter – it’s really the idea behind the word that should matter.  That goes for everything.  Words only exist to express ideas – so they can be communicated & understood by everyone – for the benefit of everyone.

There are things that are true for everybody all the time so there are some things in this world that are true that are universal – that suggests that the truth itself is universal also – even if it’s abstract. 

If everybody is right for themselves all the time that too is universal & that’s abstract at the same time - which is how the mind naturally works anyways.  So, why not?

Everybody lies.  Everybody lies all the time for all kinds of reasons – even if it’s only to themselves.  I can have 10 reasons for any 1 thing I do.  If I can - so can everybody else.  There's no way you can know all 10 of mine & there's no way I can know all 10 of yours.  It's impossible.  Is that true or not?

When people think they’re being lied to they usually demand to know the truth, but the truth to them is usually hearing what they want to hear or at least something they’re willing to accept as true – so hearing the whole truth might be painful to their ears that want to hear something else other than the whole truth. 

Once people know they’ve been lied to they usually don’t really care what the truth is - they just want to know.  Does the time & space that has passed between really make any difference to how painful the truth might be now?

When people hear what they want to hear they believe they’re hearing the truth.  So the most effective lies always tell people what they want to hear.

The truth doesn’t really matter except to the individual, who decides for themselves what's true all the time.  People want other people to agree w/ them on what's true & what isn't & they'll do all sorts of things to make what they want to be true be true for everybody else - even when it isn't.  

Nobody argues w/ somebody who agrees w/ them.  

Is the world still flat even though that’s how it seems?  I can see why people would have believed it was – they didn’t know.  They couldn’t zoom out – but the proof that it isn’t has always been able to be perceived.  Most of them probably didn’t really care.  Somebody said it was flat & everybody agreed.  Well, not everybody.  People were executed for speaking differently about it at the time – so most people kept their mouths shut about it if they didn’t agree.  The evidence was still always there – right in front of them – but it had to be accepted first.  People actually used to believe the moon was made out of cheese too.

Everything is how it is – no matter what anybody believes.  Knowing the truth doesn’t really change anything except in your own mind.  Belief just gives the people in charge a reason to do what they want & keep everybody else in line or in the dark.  

Those who know the truth are using that knowledge to their own advantage – they think people can’t handle the truth & they justify lying about it by convincing themselves it’s in everybody’s best interests when it’s really in theirs.

Truth doesn't lead to knowledge unless what you believe is true is really true – until then it only seems like it does. It gives people something to do w/ their time.  Questions lead to answers which only lead to more questions & the truth remains unknown.

What else would all the smart people do w/ their time if they didn't have the truth to look for in the name of knowledge?  In the name of whatever they’re interested in.  So be it – let them keep looking.  I don’t have to keep looking – but I can’t seem to stop either.  Why is that?  Is it b/c I don’t know – b/c I still have doubt?

I got other shit I’d rather be doing – but the bullshit I know I have to go through to do it makes it not worth doing to me.  I’ve gone down that road for long enough to know it doesn’t lead anywhere I want to go.  It’s like walking around the world – eventually you end up right where you started.  Nothing about the world actually changes – but you might change your mind about the world & that is everything.

You’re free to think whatever you want - but you’re certainly not free to do whatever you want - at least not w/o somebody else telling you you're doing something wrong or something you shouldn’t.  How is anybody really free at all?  

Depending what it is you want to do makes all the difference.  Does that mean it should only be okay to do things that nobody objects to?  Who would accept that?  I certainly wouldn’t be willing to accept that as true.  Nothing about the world suggests that it is.

If the truth is supposed to set me free & I’m not always free to do what I want to do - what could be true that would set me free except what someone else decided is true?  They truth must have already been decided & not by any of us.  It must be to our mutual benefit even if we don’t agree on what it is.

I don’t think anything that I really want to do is any danger to anyone else.  Some people might not like what I want to do – but there is no intention of harming anybody else behind anything I really want to do.  I don’t believe this is true for everybody all the time – but I do believe it’s true for me all the time.  Maybe not in the past – but now it is.  Unless something happens to change my mind about it - you can’t convince me that it’s not true now – at least for me.  I’m certain I’m not the only one it’s true for & I’m certain there are people that it’s not – but not all the time.

If I'm always right for myself no matter what I do I shouldn’t have to worry anymore about anything.  I always want to be right for myself.   I don’t need to be right for everybody else.  I never want to be wrong unless what I’m thinking is wrong.  I know there are no idle thoughts.  I put all my faith in thoughts I think are true.

If the only thoughts that are ever true are ones of love & love is only love when it’s unconditional - how does knowing that set me free?  If nobody else agrees w/ me - what good does knowing it do me?  Can I really love everything & everyone unconditionally?  

I don't think I can - but I hope I’m wrong.  I do know I can try.  Does that do me any good?  Is trying to do that to my benefit?  Is it in my best interests?  Is it in everyone else’s?  How do I know if I’m really trying?  What do I have to do to love everything & everyone unconditionally?  What am I not doing already?

If I'm always right for myself no matter what I think & no matter what I do - I don't ever have to worry about what I think or do being wrong.  Somebody else can worry about it if they want - that's their decision.  I know somebody will tell me if they don’t like what I say or do – that’s a given.  How I respond to that is still always up to me.  That’s my decision & it’s always based on what I think is true - what I believe - what I value.  They are all the same.

In that respect I'm free now & always - only I can think I'm not free - it doesn't matter what anybody else thinks - they're right for themselves just like I'm right for myself.  Everything else will just take care of itself like it always has – even before I believed it was true.  You might not like it & I might not like it – doesn’t mean it’s not true.  You still might not believe it – but I do.

How does believing or not believing make things any different than how they are now? 

At least this way I don’t need to worry about it.  I can if I want to – but I don’t want to.  I don’t have to give in to thoughts of fear & doubt & guilt & anger.  The choice is all mine - every time one of them comes to mind.  Nobody else gets to decide for me – no matter what I experience.  If I feel the need to say or do something – I’ll say or do it.  If someone doesn’t like what I say or do that will work itself out.  I don’t have to think their opinion applies to me at all.  I don’t have any reason to argue my point of view unless I feel the need.  If I do something that’s against the laws that have been made up to keep all the sheep in the pen - that too will take care of itself.  It ain’t against the law if you never get caught & I never really liked crowds.

Nobody can keep this sheep in a pen b/c I ain’t no sheep.  I’m not a wolf either.  I’m a man whose spirit & mind are free.

Free at last - free at last - thank God Almighty - I'm free at last.

You might say - What if everybody thought like that?  & I’d have to say – Well…then I'd be a damn fool to think any different. 

I know Yossarian would agree.